I haven’t posted on here for a while but, for once, it’s not because I’ve been in my cave. On the contrary, it’s because I’ve been out there living life to the full, and it was only today that I actually stopped to face reality and let myself cry about my current quandary. Walking down... Continue Reading →

During chemo, my immune system was rubbish. So I was advised to limit the risk of infection (I became hand sanitizer queen) and avoid places which are known to be incubators for infection (swimming, flying, getting too close to ill people etc). As a result, I haven’t flown since July which, for me, is like... Continue Reading →

In the past 24 hours, I’ve had this conversation five times. One has involved denial, one has involved tears, one person hid in a bathroom, two in a caravan, the London Eye was involved, as was a beach, a 2-seater BMW with the top down, flights to Azerbaijan and in incident with two very hot... Continue Reading →

This is a tricky one, because I feel like Uhtred (son of Uhtred) - as soon as I think I can see my freedom in front of me, that flipping King Arthur has other ideas and finds a way to keep me on my toes. AN: for those wondering who on earth Uhtred is, you... Continue Reading →

Not quite the birthday I planned Thanks to a book by a chap called Henry Fraser; all the way through this, I’ve tried to focus on the small steps, improvements and little wins, to remind myself that I am making progress. And when I stop and look back to six months ago, I realize just... Continue Reading →

So today, my Dutch stepped up a level. With tomorrow being my last day on chemo, the cocktail of meds I take each morning will drastically reduce; the Capecitabine (four chemo tablets) will be finished and the various others I take to offset side effects - Omeprazol (stomach protection), Emend and Ganisetron (anti-nausea) calcium and... Continue Reading →

D6 Today I have my Aunt and Uncle (Dick & Clare) arriving for a few days. Last time I saw them was around New Year, so when they walked in, the first thing they said was how much my swelling has gone down - hallelujah! When I was super swollen at Christmas, I looked unwell -... Continue Reading →

Rather than go quiet for the next couple of weeks, and as this is my last chemo session, I though I’d do a day-by-day account in a single post. How I feel can change so much in a day, let alone a week. And if I feel like shit, writing isn't always what I want... Continue Reading →

This time last week, I felt pretty good. I was on day 12 of chemo 5, which meant just two more days of tablets, then a week of rebuild. So I figured, if I felt pretty good at that point, I was only going to feel better (stronger) in the coming days, right? So in... Continue Reading →

I’ve been good So my past couple of posts have felt much more like ‘me’, and that’s probably a true reflection on how I’ve been feeling lately. Over the past six months, cancer has wreaked havoc with my mind and my body, so when a friend told me they tend to disappear into their ‘cave’... Continue Reading →