58. Looking back and looking forward

I’ve spent much of this week reflecting, and given how far I’ve come, you’d think I’d be happy, right? But it’s actually made me feel a little deflated. So I’m wondering, why? On Monday evening (26th). I sat on my balcony contemplating; the same time last year was my last night at home before I’d... Continue Reading →

56. Back yourself, Boxy

It feels like ages since I updated the blog… and so much has happened. But every step has felt so little in terms of medical progress, it hasn’t felt worthy of an update. There’s also been a little cave visit in the midst of it, which has left me a bit reluctant to post an... Continue Reading →

55. Decisions decisions…

I haven’t posted on here for a while but, for once, it’s not because I’ve been in my cave. On the contrary, it’s because I’ve been out there living life to the full, and it was only today that I actually stopped to face reality and let myself cry about my current quandary. Walking down... Continue Reading →

54. Cleared for take off

During chemo, my immune system was rubbish. So I was advised to limit the risk of infection (I became hand sanitizer queen) and avoid places which are known to be incubators for infection (swimming, flying, getting too close to ill people etc). As a result, I haven’t flown since July which, for me, is like... Continue Reading →

53. Months…

In the past 24 hours, I’ve had this conversation five times. One has involved denial, one has involved tears, one person hid in a bathroom, two in a caravan, the London Eye was involved, as was a beach, a 2-seater BMW with the top down, flights to Azerbaijan and in incident with two very hot... Continue Reading →

51. Chemo 6: the final hit

Not quite the birthday I planned Thanks to a book by a chap called Henry Fraser; all the way through this, I’ve tried to focus on the small steps, improvements and little wins, to remind myself that I am making progress. And when I stop and look back to six months ago, I realize just... Continue Reading →

50. The one about the vagina

So today, my Dutch stepped up a level. With tomorrow being my last day on chemo, the cocktail of meds I take each morning will drastically reduce; the Capecitabine (four chemo tablets) will be finished and the various others I take to offset side effects - Omeprazol (stomach protection), Emend and Ganisetron (anti-nausea) calcium and... Continue Reading →

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